I am notoriously rebellious and have been for as long as I can remember. I was rebellious before I became a Christian; I am rebellious yet still. I do not like being told what to do by anyone and worse yet, I sometimes resist authority simply because it is authority. The root cause of this is pride, because ultimately I believe that I know best about all matters that pertain to me and can – and will – make my own decisions and choose my own pathway, thank you very much. If I mess up, I will rectify it. If I succeed, I will take the glory.
What is “rebellion”? The dictionary defines it as “opposing or defying authority, accepted moral codes, or social conventions,” and based on this definition one could certainly see my rebelliousness in both a negative and positive sense.
On the one hand I rebelled against both parents almost the minute I hit the teen years, and continued in self-righteous disobedience for almost a decade afterwards, carrying my rebellious attitude from the family unit into the academic arena and out into the workplace. Though the secular world usually calls the common teenage rebellion “normal,” the extent to which I carried it would earn a decisively negative response (and did) from even the most unconventional of characters. I was kicked out of my parents’ house, fired from numerous jobs, and was (questionably) a failure as a student in the higher educational systems.
On the other hand I rebelled against the majority contemporary opinion on “religion” and “faith,” against the moral codes and social conventions of this world – truly rebelled against the authority of this world – and answered God’s call on my life: I accepted Jesus as my Savior, my Substitutionary Sacrifice, and the Way to true life.
Interestingly enough, as my rebellious attitude coalesced with my maturation process, I became very much a leader in most avenues I sought. Since I tended to defy authority, I found it much easier to just become the authority. Then as my pride was nurtured and fed, and I had no real reason or mechanism to abate its growth, I found life pretty comfortable and enjoyable because it was completely on my own terms.
Becoming a “Christian” did nothing to stop this behavior, since God was simply One more Authority in my life that I chose not to listen to when it came to rules and regulations. Certainly being a Christian meant that I was capable of being changed, but I would not allow the practical experience to penetrate my self-governed world to move me to yield to God in order to allow His Spirit to bring about this change.
Practical experience is needed in order to bring about the “metamorphosis,” because it is through our experiences (united with our knowledge of God’s Word) that we first come to recognize and identify our own sin. And then it is through our experiences that we are able to put into practice our yielding to God – through our actions of obedience to His Word – that allows Him to form in us the very nature and character of Christ.
The Bible is laden with examples that run counterintuitive to our natural inclinations. Actively love your enemies even though every fiber of your self-centered being would love to revile them instead. Actively consider it joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the difficult and grievous times are necessary to grow your faith, even though every fiber of your self-centered being would love to run from the difficulties and grief whenever possible. Actively forgive everyone who sins against you, even though every fiber of your self-centered being would love to revel in the hostility and anger you can muster against all who hurt you. Actively bear one another’s burdens, even though every fiber in your self-centered being would love to judge everyone else for their faults.
How will God give me the opportunity to practice showing love for my enemies? He will bring my enemy in close proximity and allow me to be reviled. How will God give me the opportunity to be joyous in affliction and sorrow? He will allow me to undergo affliction and sorrow. How will God give me the opportunity to forgive someone who sins against me? He will allow someone to sin against me. How will God give me the opportunity to bear another’s burdens? He will allow that person’s burdens to be dropped on my doorstep.
And then I get to choose what I do with each and every opportunity. Do I respond with my self-centered being? Or do I do what God has already told me to do in His Word? Will it run counter-intuitive to my self-centered being? Of course. Will it be difficult? Of course. Is it possible, however? Of course.
So as I was saying, I am notoriously rebellious. I don’t like anyone telling me what to do. I like to make my own decisions – right or wrong, who cares, I want to make them – and choose my own pathway. That way I don’t have to deal with anyone else’s mistakes, and I don’t have anyone to blame but myself.
Knowing that God does not like rebelliousness, primarily because it feeds our pride and encourages further insubordination, how will He give me the opportunity to practice submission, rather than rebellion? To acquiesce to another person’s decision rather than my own? Knowing that God will not force me to obey Him, though He desires utmost that I do, how will God get me to come face to face with my rebellious attitude so that I will see it as He sees it? How does God deal with the problem of our pride, other than snuffing it out with His little finger, which He could if He wanted to but He doesn’t because He wants us to allow Him to conquer it through us????
Here’s a whopper of an answer, especially for someone like me who resists authority simply because it is authority. First, God allows me to become a wife, in a relationship with my husband, whom He calls my “head” and my “leader.” Without a doubt, that runs counter-intuitive to my life experiences, my personality, my whole being. So God puts me in the position of having to come up against opposing wills – mine and my husband’s – and He says that I must be the one to back down when it occurs, and that I must trust in God for the solution, not myself. Huh? But what if I’m right and my husband is wrong? Does it matter, really, since when placed next to God’s idea of right, in all actuality we are probably both wrong? So is it a question of being right, or is it a question of who will lead and who will follow? There is no place in this situation for rebellion; there is no place in this situation for my comfortable world that I control.
Second, God allows me to be a mother, in a relationship with children whom I am to lead and be an authority to. I had thought that this would be a comfortable world for me, one that I would control. However, God allows my children to rebel against me, to show me what rebellion feels like, to show me what my rebellion looks like.
Third, God allows me to teach and guide others in the study of His Word. And then He allows many of them to tell me that I am wrong. These same individuals He has said I am to submit to, as they are to me…which of necessity removes rebellion from both aspects. God gives me the opportunity to submit, or not.
Fourth, but by no means last, God allows me to rebel against Him, and He allows me to have my own little world that I control, while He sits back and waits for me to acknowledge that indeed I must submit to authority, for He is my Authority. He allows me to experience the loneliness that comes when I decide to lead, for God will not follow me, and if I choose this pathway where I get to make all the decisions and I am in control, I will find myself alone, far away from God. Much like I had been for most of my life – a life that I chose to spend in rebellion.
Isn’t it sweet how God allows us to make our mistakes? That’s tough love!